Leaves of Time [Maccenna]

[Poker]

Poker spun around to face her, and his tongue burned with insults that could be fired off. But Poker was not one to make two stupid mistakes twice, especailly in such a short time span. Instead, with a finger pointed at her, and a face like he was about to tear at her. His mouth moved soundlessly, and he mastered what he felt. He couldn't do it again, couldn't insult her, couldn't yell at her. Even if he had tried or wanted to.

She was right. The realisation hit Poker harder than anything so far in the argument. He was so selfish, acting so childish. This wasn't who he wanted to be. It only reminded him of the Poker he had once been, after the Basilisk. He hated it.

Suddenly, Poker was caught in the centre of emotions he couldn't describe. He was somewhere between walking away from her, arguing with her and running up to her and embracing her. No matter how much he thought about it, he considered each step to be a step down a wrong path. Any one of them could only end in trouble. He was trapped where he didn't know what to do. All Poker had known was battle, to fight, his mind was always clear, every move as if in slow motion. he always knew what to do in a fight. Now he was in a dark room without a candle, completely lost with no one to guide him.

"I-" Poker began, but even the word sorry was caught in his throat. Why can't I say it. Poker closed his eyes for a moment, trying to find something to say, something worth saying. Something that would matter to her. But all words had once again evaded him.

[Maccenna]

Maccenna did not see his face contort, nor his finger point noiselessly at her as her eyes were still cast to the ground. She was still incredibly angry, but at the same time, she felt pity for Poker and for the first time in her life, despite her incredible ability to hold grudges or maintain her anger, Maccenna could not find herself able to grasp that same concept of being angry at him like she would anyone else who had ever offended her or disagreed with her. She was frustrated at herself for saying what she said, for the pity she felt for Poker completely collided with what she told him. If she could pity him, how could he not pity himself?

Finally she sighed and ran her fingers through her hair before looking up at him. Poker had said one word and then fell quiet again, but she understood what he meant. "No.. you don't need to be sorry for it..." she said, "I'm sorry... I didn't have a right to say what I said...I was prying and then I yelled at you for it..." She looked down at her hands but didn't move other than that. She couldn't think- she didn't know what else to say so she just stood there, head bowed, looking at nothing in particular now, Poker standing opposite from her some distance away.

|| bad post.Sorry...||

[Poker]

Poker stood as silence descended over the park. He didn't know what to say. He didn't know what to do. He was frozen in position, lips, tongue and body with nothing that was suitable to give to her. But looking at her, standing so close to him and yet so far away, looking away made his heart wrench apart. How could he have been so childish? There were no words Poker could have used to describe how he felt when he looked across at her, if he had tried to explain them he would have faltered and stumbled.

What was she thinking? Poker couldn't tell her emotions or her thoughts with her eyes cast away from him, and that scared him. Had he made her angry? Had he made her sad? Did she hate him? It would have been hard not to.

But she had apologised. He should have too, but no apology would change what had been spoken, what had been yelled and what had been done. It didn't make a difference. . . did it? Poker could not find any apology that could possibly do justice what he wanted to say to her.

He moved forward with long, solemn strides and wrapped his hands around her. Was he comforting her or himself? Perhaps both. He didn't know if the wordless hug would be accepted by her, but it spoke more than his words ever could.

[Maccenna]

If Maccenna had stood aside to watch the scene she was in with Poker, she would have thought herself weak and would have urged for herself to yell some more, but as hypocritical as it was, she could not find herself doing that now, not when Poker had come up to her and hugged her.
She did not respond to him at first- she didn't know how to, but as quickly as it had come, her anger subsided and her thoughts were lost in aired suspension. She neither felt sad, nor glad, but she felt warm. It filled her thoughts and her body to the point where they're preceding conversation really didn't matter anymore. She would have forgiven him if she could find a voice within herself to do so, but she wholey felt that she needed to apologize to him.

Maccenna finally pulled away from him, but gently so that she could look at him in the face, "I'm sorry." she repeated again to him. She grabbed one of Poker's hands and gave him a weak smile of apology. If she had not said anything, the argument, or more- or-less yelling match between them may have never happened.

|| Sorry! I can't write right now to save my life. I'll make it up someday. I promise!

[Poker]

[ooc: *shrug* It's all good]

Poker breathed out a long sigh, but it was soft. Perhaps he could soon forget about it. He smield though, for the thought ran through his head in the first day they met they had ended up laying on top of each other kissing, then yelling at each other. It was going to be amusing, or more or less exciting to say the least. To smile felt so good to him all of a sudden, like he was breaking away and soaring at last.

He looked down at her as she took his hand, and squeezed her own, looking down into her eyes. He shook his head, smiling with a sad knowledge deep within him. He should be apologising, he should have said he was sorry so long ago. But instead,

"It wasn't your fault." It was close to an apology, as close as possible without speaking the words. He looked down at her hand again, still smiling sadly. He closed his eyes for a moment, reliving the argument in his head, before opening them again. It seemed so different the second time he saw it. It had been his fault. He would remember it next time sometime like that happened, he made that silent vow where he stood.

He looked back at her, and her weak smile somehow made him feel better, and his smile broadened. He had his own forms of apologising. Poker leaned forward to kiss her again, and felt their lips touch, and tasted the sweet taste of Maccenna once more.

[Maccenna]

||Sorry for the really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really,really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really,really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really,really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really,really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really,really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really,really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really,really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really,really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really,really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, EXTREMELY late post. ||

Maccenna did not pay much attention to Poker's attempted apology, instead she focussed on shoving what had happened previously between Poker and herself to the back of her mind. She didn't want to forget about the whole entire affair completely, but she wanted to do away with it for now. They were both pretty pathetic in her mind, as she recapped the events that had already happened between them that day, not wallowing on any particular moment, before storing them away.
She let Poker kiss her and kissed him back but then she pulled away again, wiped her eyes and looked up at him. "So what were we going to do again?" she asked. She had forgotten completely about what they were going to do earlier by the time their argument had subsided.

||Really bad.. Not in a typing mood and I have to go.. sorry||

[Poker]

[ooc: For the last time, it's alright. Everyone has bad RP moments . . . take my life for example xD]

Poker reluctantly drew his mouth away from hers again as she spoke to him. He had doubts already planted deep within his mind. Could this work out? They had already managed one arse-up. How many more would come? Was it really worth it? But Poker kept his face as it had been a moment ago, a slight smile playing over his lips, pushing these thoughts to the back of his mind. He didn't need to worry about them now, it wasn't worth the stress.

"To the best of my memory. . ." Poker began looking off, thinking back, it seemed so long ago, like they had stood here for a year. "We were going to get something to eat?"

Poker only just noticed how famished he felt deep within himself. Not just a hunger for food, but a hunger for other things far deeper within his soul. Nevertheless, he held his hand out for Maccenna so that they could finally walk towards the market district.

[Maccenna]

She had known where they were going all along, but she could not think of it as it was lost in the back of her mind. When Poker had mentioned it, it relit that distant memory. It seemed obvious now. Where else would the two of them go to in Teer? It would have seemed ridiculous to to enter some rowdy pub, in Maccenna's mind- as it would have been ridiculous to roam along the fort. She timidly took Poker's hand when he held it out to her and they started heading to the market.

Maccenna supposed it was getting late by now. She took a quick look back toward the bench and the tree beside it. It must have been a good few hours from the time she had first arrived there. The sun seemed to be sitting lower in the sky, casting a fiery hue about it, and seeming to catch the clouds on fire. The light seemed to play in bright colors of orange and reds and pinks painting the sky as it seemed to dart off invisible barriers. As the sun began to set a little lower, these colors intensified, and soon, the face of the sun would be level with the water, casting its regal glow upon the cliffs, the beaches and the sea.

A gull wheeled about in the sky, its pale feathers cast into a dark silhouette as it began its flight down the coast in search of a place to rest. Maccenna wrapped her fingers tightly around Poker's as they moved further along. The seagull had reminded her of her own pet, Panithar, who rested back on the Silver Flame. He was a two month old otter, still just a pup and still rambunctious and highly untrained. It was why she left him behind. She hadn't expected to be away so long.

She took him off her mind quickly though, and tried to think of a subject to bring up because the silence seemed awkward and she began feeling a little nervous again, but nothing came to mind. She was awful when it came to starting conversations. One of the few successful occasions when she actually started one was on the bench with Poker, but that was it. She was used to answering questions, giving advice, taking commands, and as Poker may have realized, she could consider herself a good candidate for causing arguments. She was stubborn and strongly opinionated, so arguments in her life were common.

"Poker?" she asked, "You know.. after that argument, I felt as if that was it- and I really felt stupid. I think like that a lot. I always seem to cause arguments. I try not to though, and when I do, I often feel stupid for doing it. Sometimes I hate myself for it. I often loose things in arguments; friends, trust, respect...all for a lame point that doesn't even matter. Sometimes, I feel as if I shouldn't be here for it. The way you treated yourself," she paused, "It makes me think of how I feel after an argument and loosing something that meant a lot to me; hating myself, and not feeling good enough or anything... The way you treated yourself during that argument, it wasn't fair.You seemed to pity yourself for it, or hate yourself for it- and maybe that is something we can both work on..."

She looked away towards the setting sun, "I didn't mean that arguement. I didn't want you to go away for that and I felt like we were going to storm away from eachother and my heart almost shattered at that point."

Maccenna kept her eyes locked on the turning sky, she was afraid to look back at him after what she said. If she could not think of something to talk about, she might as well speak her thoughts. She did not know if what she said would offend Poker, but it was her way for showing him her affection in non- physical way. It seemed crude and rough, the way she said it, but it took her a great effort to try and say it in a way that it didn't offend him.

|| O.0.... Look! Its amazing! I actually posted! Whoooo! ((Ten days was way too long. I'll try not to do that again. Thanks for your patience))

[Poker]

Poker turned solemnly around to Maccenna and knelt down on one knee. He held one of his soft, and yet strong, hands in his own and looked up at her eyes from his position down upon the ground.

"Maccenna. . ." He began, but words were lost in his mouth. It took him a moment to reform what he had been planning on saying. He took a deep breath and said: "Soz I haven't posted in ages. Busy life, you know?"

In an alternate reality,

Poker smiled as he felt the wind drifting up from the ocean to toy with Maccenna's and his own hair. The breeze was cooling, and though the park was now behind him, he could hear the leaves rustling and flying as the wind picked them up to take them to new and exciting places. To leave their old lives in a long forgotten and abandoned park far behind them, as the faced the new adventures the words had to offer them.

Poker felt Maccenna's hand tighten around his own, and he moved slightly closer to her. He had to wonder what Archer was doing at the moment. Usually the dog would never be far from Poker, but sometimes Archer had a tendency to seek his own space. These 'moments' never lasted longer than a day, however, so Poker didn't worry himself. Not yet in any case.

After listening to her, Poker wrapped his arm around her shoulders. "Everyone has something wrong with them, I think. At least, with similar imperfections we can work on them together." Poker paused for a moment, wondering if his inward emotions were worth sharing on the subject. That he had so often felt the same thing she had. So many petty things ruined so much. Sometimes he had to think that that was how the War of Lilan began, some petty disagreement between Ice Warriors and Southerners that dragged everyone else in. "I'll never leave you over something that petty, Maccenna, or else I'll be just as petty as whatever that argument is over."

By then they were in the markets, and though a lot of the small, makeshift stores were packing up as sundown was quickly approaching, there was still a wide variety of fruit and other exotic food around. Poker couldn't have been sure if a lot of the goods were stolen or not, such was the world of Pirates. However, he never doubted the fact that they had the widest variety, thanks to their extensive black market across Lilan.

"So," Poker said, lightening the mood, "what would you like to eat?"

[Maccenna]

OOC: Um...... well I haven't been in this post for nearly two months... Lets see here.. where were we??? Erm, can we start a new thread or something??? I am getting bored of this one.. *Smiles with a childish 'you're the best' look. *
If not, that is fine... I'll just have to read back a bit before I reply. (Its what you get for procrastinating, I suppose)